Memoires of a shoppaholic girl…

My name is Amelia and I am a shoppaholic.

OK. I came out of the closet. Literally. And, like every other girl of my generation, I had nothing to wear. Who cares if I have over twenty blouses, dresses and pants? So what if I have a lot of shoes and I always use the same ones when I go out? A girl can never have too many shoes!

I’d like to think of myself as a SMART shoppaholic, though. Because there’s different kinds of shoppaholics!

There’s the bulimic shoppaholic, for example. The bulimic shoppaholic is every person who shops and shops and shops, only to return everything the next day out of guilt.

Then we have the anorexia nervosa shoppaholic. The ANS wants to shop, but has a distorted vision of his/her wallet and/or bank account. The ANS thinks that if he/she buys, she’d end up poor, or will max out his/her credit card. Hence, he/she doesn’t shop.

Also, there’s the blackout shoppaholic. This one is really special. They shop, and shop, and shop… and keep shopping, but they don’t realize what they are doing. They do it automatically and it is possible that they don’t even enjoy shopping. And they realize that they have bought something when they go to their closet and say: Hey! When did I get this pair of shoes? Hence the term ‘blackout.’

We must not forget about the cheap shoppaholic, also known as cheapaholic. The CS can’t stand an offer. If they see the ‘Sale’ sign, they go crazy! But if they see a red tag –could be yellow in some stores– and said tag has the word ‘Clearance’… they turn into Speedy Gonzalez! A cheap shoppaholic doesn’t care if the article to be bought is not their size, or if they even like what they are buying. A cheap shoppaholic doesn’t shop for items. They shop offers. So, no matter if they already have 4 TVs, if they see one at 50% off, chances are they’ll buy it!

Another kind is the fetish shoppaholic. Why fetish? Because they only shop for things that tickle their fancy. It could be an item, like shoes. Or a store, like Victoria’s Secret. How many times have I heard people ask me, ‘You got another bra?’ And I say, ‘Yes, so?’ ‘You already have like 20,’ I get as a reply. My answer would most probably be, ‘But not this color!’ Or, ‘So? It’s from Victoria’s Secret!’

But then there’s the SMART shoppaholic. My favorite kind. A SMART shoppaholic is the mix of all of the above! LOL! Why? Because when we shop, and we realize that the item doesn’t fit, or that it was too expensive, we return it! And if we really want to shop, but we realize that doing so would max out our credit card, we don’t shop! When we see a ‘Sale’ or ‘Clearance’ tag, we just shop, and most of the times we don’t know what we bought until we find it in our home, which makes us both cheap and blackout shoppaholics. We do have things that tickle our fancy; hence, we have our favorite stores and preferred items, like shoes.

So. What kind of shoppaholic are you? Are you coming out of your closet?